{"version":"https://jsonfeed.org/version/1","title":"amandakill.com.au","home_page_url":"https://amandakill.com.au","description":"amandakill.com.au","author":{"name":"amandakill.com.au"},"items":[{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/what-is-wrong-with-me","html_content":"

What Is Wrong With Me?\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nThis is probably one of the hardest things I've ever written.\n\nNot because it's the most traumatic thing that's happened to me.\n\nNot because it's the most painful.\n\nBut because i...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/what-is-wrong-with-me","title":"What Is Wrong With Me?","summary":"What Is Wrong With Me?\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nThis is probably one of the hardest things I've ever written.\n\nNot because it's the most traumatic thing that's happened to me.\n\nNot because it's the most painful.\n\nBut because i...","date_modified":"2026-06-13T01:01:02Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/grieving-the-missing-years","html_content":"

The Things I Want To Remember\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nPeople talk about grieving people.\n\nThey talk about grieving childhoods.\n\nThey talk about grieving innocence.\n\nThey talk about grieving the life you should have had.\n\nBut ...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/grieving-the-missing-years","title":"Grieving The Missing Years","summary":"The Things I Want To Remember\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nPeople talk about grieving people.\n\nThey talk about grieving childhoods.\n\nThey talk about grieving innocence.\n\nThey talk about grieving the life you should have had.\n\nBut ...","date_modified":"2026-06-12T03:01:35Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/writing-the-book-is-breaking-my-heart","html_content":"

Writing The Book Is Breaking My Heart\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nPeople keep asking me how the book is going.\n\nAnd honestly?\n\nI never know how to answer that question.\n\nBecause on one hand, it's been one of the best things I've ...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/writing-the-book-is-breaking-my-heart","title":"Writing The Book Is Breaking My Heart","summary":"Writing The Book Is Breaking My Heart\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nPeople keep asking me how the book is going.\n\nAnd honestly?\n\nI never know how to answer that question.\n\nBecause on one hand, it's been one of the best things I've ...","date_modified":"2026-06-10T21:12:36Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-fishing-trip","html_content":"

THE FISHING TRIP\n\nWhy did you give me alcohol to drink?\nWhy did you offer it to me when I was just a kid?\n\nYou groomed me with toys, with gifts,\nAnd took me on your fishing trips.\n\nAs I grew older, the gifts began to cha...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-fishing-trip","title":"THE FISHING TRIP","summary":"THE FISHING TRIP\n\nWhy did you give me alcohol to drink?\nWhy did you offer it to me when I was just a kid?\n\nYou groomed me with toys, with gifts,\nAnd took me on your fishing trips.\n\nAs I grew older, the gifts began to cha...","date_modified":"2026-06-09T12:07:21Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/nobody-told-me-survival-would-be-this-hard","html_content":"

Nobody Told Me Survival Would Be This Hard\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nPeople call me a survivor.\n\nAnd they're right.\n\nI survived.\n\nI survived the child sexual abuse.\n\nI survived the rape.\n\nI survived the violence.\n\nI survived th...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/nobody-told-me-survival-would-be-this-hard","title":"Survivor or surviving ","summary":"Nobody Told Me Survival Would Be This Hard\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nPeople call me a survivor.\n\nAnd they're right.\n\nI survived.\n\nI survived the child sexual abuse.\n\nI survived the rape.\n\nI survived the violence.\n\nI survived th...","date_modified":"2026-06-09T11:52:20Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/i-wasnt-thirteen","html_content":"

I Wasn't Thirteen\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nFor years I said I was thirteen.\n\nThirteen was the number I carried around in my head.\n\nThirteen was the age attached to the memories.\n\nThe drinking.\n\nThe loneliness.\n\nThe secrets.\n\nT...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/i-wasnt-thirteen","title":"I Wasn't Thirteen","summary":"I Wasn't Thirteen\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nFor years I said I was thirteen.\n\nThirteen was the number I carried around in my head.\n\nThirteen was the age attached to the memories.\n\nThe drinking.\n\nThe loneliness.\n\nThe secrets.\n\nT...","date_modified":"2026-06-06T15:03:07Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/thirteen","html_content":"

When Attention Feels Like Love\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nI was thirteen years old when I met someone who made me feel seen.\n\nLooking back now, that sentence probably sounds simple.\n\nAt thirteen, it felt like everything.\n\nMy par...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/thirteen","title":"Thirteen ","summary":"When Attention Feels Like Love\n\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nI was thirteen years old when I met someone who made me feel seen.\n\nLooking back now, that sentence probably sounds simple.\n\nAt thirteen, it felt like everything.\n\nMy par...","date_modified":"2026-06-04T14:23:09Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-day-the-numbers-finally-added-up","html_content":"

The Day the Numbers Finally Added Up

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-day-the-numbers-finally-added-up","title":"The Day the Numbers Finally Added Up","summary":"The Day the Numbers Finally Added Up","date_modified":"2026-05-31T11:23:02Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/nobody-told-me-healing-would-be-this-hard","html_content":"

Nobody Told Me Healing Would Be This Hard.

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/nobody-told-me-healing-would-be-this-hard","title":"Nobody Told Me Healing Would Be This Hard","summary":"Nobody Told Me Healing Would Be This Hard.","date_modified":"2026-05-30T11:37:33Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-days-ptsd-wins","html_content":"

The Days PTSD Wins

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-days-ptsd-wins","title":"The Days PTSD Wins","summary":"The Days PTSD Wins","date_modified":"2026-05-28T09:26:28Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/its-a-lonely-night-on-there-lounge","html_content":"

I’m not sure exactly what this is.\n\nI started writing and just let my brain go while I sat here crying in a blabbering mess.\n\nI’m not doing so great at the moment.\n\nOver the last six days I’ve felt this darkness pulling ...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/its-a-lonely-night-on-there-lounge","title":"Its a lonely night on the lounge ","summary":"I’m not sure exactly what this is.\n\nI started writing and just let my brain go while I sat here crying in a blabbering mess.\n\nI’m not doing so great at the moment.\n\nOver the last six days I’ve felt this darkness pulling ...","date_modified":"2026-05-27T13:29:32Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/as-i-start-to-heal","html_content":"

As I Start to Heal\nBy Amanda Kill ©

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/as-i-start-to-heal","title":"As I Start to Heal","summary":"As I Start to Heal\nBy Amanda Kill ©","date_modified":"2026-05-26T13:07:46Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/when-i-wake-up-screaming","html_content":"

WHEN I WAKE UP SCREAMING\nBy Amanda Kill ©

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/when-i-wake-up-screaming","title":"WHEN I WAKE UP SCREAMING","summary":"WHEN I WAKE UP SCREAMING\nBy Amanda Kill ©","date_modified":"2026-05-24T13:05:44Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-parts-of-my-childhood-i-didn%E2%80%99t-want-people-to-see","html_content":"

The Parts Of My Childhood I Didn’t Want People To See\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nThese are the parts of my childhood I did not want people to see.\n\nThe parts that make you question everything.\n\nWhy didn’t anyone help?\nWhy didn’t ...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-parts-of-my-childhood-i-didn%E2%80%99t-want-people-to-see","title":"The Parts Of My Childhood I Didn’t Want People To See","summary":"The Parts Of My Childhood I Didn’t Want People To See\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nThese are the parts of my childhood I did not want people to see.\n\nThe parts that make you question everything.\n\nWhy didn’t anyone help?\nWhy didn’t ...","date_modified":"2026-05-22T05:55:41Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/let%E2%80%99s-talk-about-child-sexual-abuse","html_content":"

Let’s Talk About Child Sexual Abuse\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nLet’s talk about child sexual abuse.\n\nActually fucking talk about it.\n\nNot the watered-down version society feels comfortable hearing.\nNot the censored version social...

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/let%E2%80%99s-talk-about-child-sexual-abuse","title":"Let’s Talk About Child Sexual Abuse","summary":"Let’s Talk About Child Sexual Abuse\nBy Amanda Kill ©\n\nLet’s talk about child sexual abuse.\n\nActually fucking talk about it.\n\nNot the watered-down version society feels comfortable hearing.\nNot the censored version social...","date_modified":"2026-05-20T13:36:48Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-words-need-to-be-used","html_content":"

Just a heads up, there is no particular order or pattern to this page.\nI will be sharing parts of my life as they come to me.

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/the-words-need-to-be-used","title":"The Words Need To Be Used","summary":"Just a heads up, there is no particular order or pattern to this page.\nI will be sharing parts of my life as they come to me.","date_modified":"2026-05-18T11:39:12Z"},{"id":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/nobody-talks-about-how-exhausting-survival-is","html_content":"

People talk about survival.

","url":"https://amandakill.com.au/healing-journal/f/nobody-talks-about-how-exhausting-survival-is","title":"Nobody Talks About How Exhausting Survival Is","summary":"People talk about survival.","date_modified":"2026-05-15T13:35:36Z"}]}